Searching for a new life??

Salam, knpe  tjuk die seaching for a new life?? why baby why?... kiyu?... bolo na...? no specific reason or there is a reason??...
I'm searching and will still searching until i get what i want?.... Even sometimes, giving up is there as a option and what is always comes into my mind.... Until when that i need to be searching?... And what am i searching for actually?... i dont know either... should i understand myself?... but how?... sometimes, i think people around me know me better than i do... i just dont know myself... i'm lack of confident... paranoid all the time, scared for something that i shouldn't... i'm miss the old me!... if i can go back to my old times...  Ya Allah, what should i do?... what should i do so that i can gain my confident, i can kills my paranoid's thing, do not scared anymore... Everytime, i wanna do something, i must thinking hard, how should i resist this thing?... Until people around sometimes get upset with me!.. huhu.. -end-