berusaha berjaya?

Hi again....
Thing did not settle yet...
I had try my hardest? to make sure i take the offer...
I make my mind to give at least a try even though my heart want to stay here... of course family is the main reason especially my little brother... just because of him, i give a try...
Today, i got sms from an owner  told me that the room only available on July, how is that?... i start work on May... two months where i going to stay?...
Then, i called the company to ask for a help which is to get me at least contact no for the rental... unfortunately, the person in charge of me is on leave..
Anyhow, i try talk to the lady on the phone, she asked my contact n told me, maybe she can help because she ever heard before that their female engineer looking for housemate... i happy for the hope but then up until now, there are no info at all... how long i have to wait... i need to give a notice... if yes, say yes if no just say no...
Its make me think, if thing would be harder, i better say no to the offer plus, there are a policy that make me not happy with the company...
But again, i will try tomorrow to call a person in charge of me, maybe tell him about my problem, if no solution i have to decline the offer very politely as he helped me a lot during my previous interview...
I hope i will do it tomorrow or else by Tuesday i have to send an email to say no formally...

Oh man... i got headache, i can eat but not that enjoy, not really happy, isolated myself... again i want to talk to someone, but i do not know who.,, i wont burden my friend with my worries, with my thought... i m sure that they will ask me to think thoroughly before deciding... i don't need that thing.... mak... i need you....!..

I feel like want to cry but it wont settle the thing...
If i stayed, i will be bullying by that stupid girl... you do not how to work, do not disturb me... how many time i need to teach you... i got my work u know, you are lower than me but then you asked me to finish you job just because you do not know...?..
How annoying you are... lucky you because bos didn't care who did the job as long as job are finish!...
You damn girl! You damn!... you just know how to create a problem, and leave it to me to settle... i hate you!...
Just because i don't like to create a chaos, get fight with people, you did this to me!...


I very sad, depressed....
I disappointed with myself...



_THE END_