ceit! bangga pula ko buat dosa ye!..

salam and a very good evening to all of you out there ( how i wish... mcm ade je yg bce blog nih.... tkpelah haha..). SO today's topic is making 'DOSA', u know dosa.. alaa dosa.. sins.. the act or behaviour that we do which is totally wrong even to our religion n believe also as human being too. Still dont get it?.. senang cakap langgar perintah ALLAh.. buat maksiat.. fhm dah?... ok.. mcm nih.. the reason that i chose this topic toninght was because its just happened to me which is i saw it with my bare eyes. hell lah kan.. klu dah tahap berbangga berbuat maksiat, dosa dan seangkatannya. Asal aku ckp mcm tuh... sbb nye.. bagi tidak memburukkan mana2 pihak.. aku ckp mcm nih lah... bru2 nih.. aku ade TERdengar beberapa org makhluk ciptaan ALLAH (lelaki ye of course) nih bercakap about something that make me want to say they are really sucks, stupid, all those bad words to them. Gile baban itu orang. macam x de iman langsung, mcm tak takut Tuhan langsung, Allahuakbar.. memang buke mata aku bile aku sendiri dgr dan jupe dgn golongan mungkar nih. Yg lebih mneyedihkan mereka2 nih ade lah golongan muda yg bakal memcorakkan kehidupan manusia yg bakal lahir di mase hadapan.  Ya Rabbi, aku tak tahulah mcm mne.. tp perbuatan mereka mmg cukup utk buat aku takut dgn lelaki tmbh2 aku nih mmg ade sedikit anti dgn golongan lelaki. Kalau dah tahap cakap psl seks openly, mencarut dh jd bende biase... aku perempuan yg tiap2 ari dgr nih rse malu gile, rse terhina gile..... kotlah nk kate mereka nih open minded giler kot kan.. xthu lah pulak aku... klu mmc tuh lah i prefer to be a person with a narrow-minded beb. seriously!.. aku risau makin lame aku terdedah dgn mereka 2 nih.. mcm mne dgn iman aku yg x berapa nk teguh nih, mcm mne klu makin lame aku anggap solat tuh perkara yg remeh, x solat pun tkpe, macam mcm mne klu aku rase yg puasa tuh x penting pun... nauzubillahiminzalik... minta jauh sgt.. that's why i chose to quit!.. biarlah aku jd pengganggur.. biarlah aku xde duit... biarlah aku kne dgr bebelan org cercaan org drp aku duk tmbh dosa bersubahat dgn mereka. aku nk halang aku x rase aku mampu.. they're too many plus they're are opposite gender of me... sorg lwn ramai x kn mng... i'm not that good. aku hanya mampu berdoa agar mereka di berikan peluang oleh ALLAH swt agar dpt bertaubat dengan taubat nasuha dan tidak mempengaruhi dan mengheret org lain same dan aku tidak dipertemukan lagi dgn golongan sebegini. Ampunilah segala dosa ku ya Allah, tetapkan lah imanku, jauhkanlah aku drp kemaksiatan dan kelalaian, lindungilah aku kejahatan nafsu ku dan lindungilah aku drp segala godaan syaitan. Amin.

embrace your awesomenesssss....

Hai... salam ( i;m still not sure whether its okay to greet with salam or as salam as short way to say assalamualaikum, because there are some issues in this thing, i;m not sure either, please do clarified it to me. Someone! so that i can change it straight away).... so.. today.. is sunday?...Sunday means holiday for the west coast and starting weekdays for the east coast.... however, that is not what i going to discuss here today.. alone. Again. As usual. Embrace your awesomeness is the title of my post today... it is such a great thing to embrace our excite-ness( is there such a word?, correct if i am wrong? your know how bad i am.. right?).... what is awesomeness?... it is something about your act to show or to be exact to embrace your awesomeness (again? hehe) towards something that make your think it is awesome.... such as.. when we saw or watching something that catch our eyes to pay full attention to it and it is suddenly comes out from your mind... oh man.. this is awesome!.. cool man!... you make me inspired to do something like this!.. something like that.. do you get it?.. this is my own explanation okay?.. there are no 'ciplak';s thing here. today. at least.so why i chose it as my title of my post today? the reason is, just now, about less than hour before,i watched this one video, that encourage me to embrace my awesomeness.... which is inianwarhadi's video entitled 'euwww'... i cannot remember well... ouh my! my memory capacity is low!.. ... hmm.. so, the title is something like that.. so in this video with 180+++ views, anwarhadi is talk about euwww thing which most of the school student(as far  as my concern) used for sms-ing, commenting, or chatting or whatsoever.. they were loved to use or to change to word to make sound like a 'gedik' not only to me but some of my friends too... in which they were loved to add the eww at the end of the word such as suka to sukew... lama to lmeww...aku tp aq... that kind of word... ouh.. man please do not make such a changes to our beloved language.. yeah.. we all love to use short form when we sms-ing, fb-ing or something.. even myself love it too.. but please do not make it too emotional to read which is sometimes, make me want to say.. 'tolong lah... gedik giler... biase2 sudah!'... do not make it worst okay!... okay stop there about that!...  that is not what makes me felt to embrace my awesomeness... my awesomeness, i would to dedicate to anwarhadi and seangkatan dengannya (knajmi, maria elena).. who is talk such a great in a way to deliver goods message to people outside there adn using a great english.. aah.. yaa.. there is someone else who do just like anwarhadi which is at first place i thought that anwarhadi some kind of copy this guy but no.. i don't think so!.. that guy is matluhtfi90.. if i not mistaken... or something like that.... their English is awesome..  i am so jealous to those who are great spoken... oh man how i wish i can talk the way it should be!....just like them maybe!.. credit to them!...you guys inspired me a lot!...
okay it is time to sleep.. adios amigos....

p/s: i know my english is BAD! i still improving and practising... correct and tell me where i was wrong!... my grammar is so bad.. that is why i writing in english tonight.. or this pagi... aya.. do not know lah.... chow cincau...
 ouh ya u can find those videos in the youtube.com... hehe... peace no war ;p

bosan!

3.00 am aku still x leh tido n masih membuang waktu tanpa arah tujuan... masih melayari internet walaupun tiada apa yg hendak ku layari.... huahuahuat... buhsan giler ler... xthu nk buat apa... tido pun mata x nak lelap... nk lelap pun mata x ank pejam... nk pejam pun dah aku xleh nk tido... what to do?...erm... td ade bce blog sorg nih... giler mantap die punya bi... dh mmg sejak azali lg kot berckp omputih... ish.. x thu lah aku.... aku nih yg dh berthn2  bljr... start drp pra sekolah smpai dah abih buat degree nih pun still bi tunggang langgang... klu aku ckp org putih especially waktu present ape2... mesti org thu aku punye bi broken giler kot.... argh... x thu ar nk buat mcm mne nk pandai bi.... cara ckp mcm org pndai ckp bi tp biler ckp ayt tunggang langgang.... grammar hancus... even kdg2 vocab pun lemah giler... ape citer... buat malu jer.... confident lak tuh over something which was totally wrong.... nih ayt yg aku gne nih ntah btul ntah tak... aku perbetulkan pn aku x thu nk betulkan mcm mne.... ish.. lemah betul...kdg2 mlas nk fikir psl bnde nih... tp aku thu bnde nih satu keperluan tuk bina masa depan aku.... tmbh lg bdg yg amik nih... isk mmg wajib la... ptut lah aku x brpe nk score waktu bljr dulu.. (cewah yelah sgt.. hehe...) yelah dah bljr nye dlm bi sumer.... sumer terms dlm bi... klu x fhm mksud terms tuh mcm mne ko nk fhm bnde tuh ape. dgn concept die lg... nk imagine bnde tuh mcm mne lg.... nyaknye... isk2... herm....oklah... aku dah abih tulih dah kat sini,,,, tp mata aku still x leh lelap... ape daa... nk buat ape lg nih.....

jungle fish 2~~~

Salam.. dah lame x jupe kan.... kali nnih aku nk citer psl jungle fish ataupun ikan hutan.... apebende sumer nih??... let me story yer... semalam aku dah abih tgk satu citer nih... erm... best lah jugak... byk teladan yg boleh aku amik drp citer nih... ofkos lah citer nih citer korea.... klu x xder nyer aku nk lyn... siap wat review lg... kan??... so citer die mcm nih... kisah mengenai sekumpulan pelajar nih... mcm berkisar psl budak sekolah menengah lh... ade seorg member diorg nih meninggal lah dgn cara yg sadis giler... iaitu bunuh diri... giler ar kan? kut ye pun depressed ke ape ke... that' not the way... igt umat islam diLARANG sama sekali bunuh diri dosa besar beb!.... nk rase msuk neraka terus boleh ar kot try.. tp aku nasihat kan tak payah cube2 lah... kne laknat Tuhan je.... so.. lepas ade sorg mamat dpt note kirenye mcm nk bgthu budak tuh mati bukan saje2 sbb depressed ke ape ke?... mati die sbb ade yg bunuh die... wlpun secara x lgsg... ish.. aku kne masak lh pulak... dinner time... lain kali lah aku smbung citernih... adios... to be continued~~

layankan aje lah mek yah oii

hai... as salam...
agak lame sudah tidak ku menjenguk blog ini ya... haha ayat x leh bla...
erm... skrg dah kul 2.59pg... kurg satu minit nk pukul 3 pg.... aku masih lg x leh nk tido... ntah mengapa ku rasa tak menentu.. haha... tpbetul! aku mmg rase x menentu.... ala2 keliru gitu... aku xthu knpe...
actually td b4 1 am aku dh masuk tido tp after about less than half hour aku still x leh nk lelapkan mata.... so aku pun bangun... buka laptop... dlm fikiran ade rse terfikir psl railing untuk curtains... aku xthu knpe aku nk kne pk mnde nih.. amnde ntah...  bodoh buang masa je kot... dah tuh siap search lg kat tenet... tp hampeh kecewa seh.. ape yg aku cari x pun dijumpai... skrg org dh byk pakai rail kayu... tp mahal don... dem!... lantak p lah.. x kuasa aku... phtu tgh sedap2 main fb ek eleh tbe2 one of my old friend updated die punye education.. brulah aku thu dh smbung master rupenye bdak tuh.. siot nih yg buat den tercabar nih.... dgn keadaan aku yg tgh goyang kaki je kat rumah nih... bikin gueh panasss aje!.... aku pun terasa gatai tgn nk search psl smbung study nih... sumer u aku bukak boleh dikatakan... u aku dulu die punye yuran siot boleh thn mahal nyer.. xde dlm 30000 agak pyh nk survive ko senah!. wlpun ade skim pembiayaan amnde ntah.. tuh klu dpt... phtu siap ke KAIST lagi aku search... angan2 x sudah... hehe... mne thu kan ade rezeki lebih nnti... nk jgk... berangan lg!...so kesimpulan die klu aku nk smbung pun maybe aku akn consider smbung kt uitm kot... tp tulah klukt sane m sc. bkn m eng.. tuh yg x best.. aku nk m eng... eeehhhh... upm pun ok gak kot... (u lain2 tuh siot giler ar die punye yuran.. tp memadai kut dgn u tuh... u mantap2 nih fhm2 je lah)... erm... biler aku boleh smbung x thu ar.... member2 seangkatan dgn aku pun dh ade ura2 nk smbung... eiii.. jelesnye... diorg tkpelah kot.. mak ayah sumer ada2... vboleh support... klu ikut perancangan mase depan aku... nk je aku smbung tp lpas 4-5 keje lah.. agak2 dah stabil plus bosan keje kot... tp  xthu lah mcm mne... keje pun x dpt lg... dh dkat 3 bln nganggur nih... kdg2 rse nk give up je.. tp bodoh(x kuase dh aku nk desh2 nih...) la klu aku ikut... siapa yg rugi.. aku jgk kan.... pale senok gini lah jdnye...huahuahua... so isu master dh jd isu sensitif bg aku skrg... siot tul la.... aku arap2 cepat2 lah aku dpt keje so that cpat aku boleh smbung master... erm... byk lak aku ckp mlm nih start dr x leh tido smpai ckp psl master smpai ckp psl cari keje... ape bnde sumer nih... penting ke?.... penting lah mek eh tuk aku...  ok lah lain kali kiter smbung wahai cik blog yer... aku nk taip lg tp x de idea... huhu... oklah adios amigos...  peace no war ye!... eh.. semoga aku dpt keje cpat... insyaallah... kne tawakal lebih sikit kot ek... kne buat solat hajat nih... spy cpat skit dpt keje.. tp tkpe aku percaya Allah dh tetap rezeki tuk aku cpat lmbt tuh mesti ade reason die.... huhu....see klu mnaip nih mmg pyh lah nk stop,... ye2 je td kte x de idea la ape la.. siot tul...ngongg... okeyla2....chow cincau~~

something is wrong!

something is wrong! but i don't know what is wrong with me?... feels so uncomfortable, a lot of things in my mind that distract my calmness... why? why? and why?... i just don't know why? sometimes to having friend can cause you in trouble... having family also sometimes costs you headache as a pay... having a job also could cause a big problem especially to someone like me who lack of confident.. always!.. how i wish i could be fully confident anytime, everywhere and also so energetic all the time. Every time, when someones come to pay a visit me, why can't i treated them so well, there's always an awkwardness that make me regrets most of the time. Why it is so hard to treat people as well as others do.? why? why?..  i'm sure something is wrong with me!
and always when i can't helps my self anymore i find you!... thank to God, you're here at least i can write out my feelings toward these messy things. i just hate being in this state. till now, i still feels not that good, but at least its starts to decrease...  Maybe i should do what i should do. Yeah, a man got to do what a man got to do!.
-end-

Searching for a new life??

Salam, knpe  tjuk die seaching for a new life?? why baby why?... kiyu?... bolo na...? no specific reason or there is a reason??...
I'm searching and will still searching until i get what i want?.... Even sometimes, giving up is there as a option and what is always comes into my mind.... Until when that i need to be searching?... And what am i searching for actually?... i dont know either... should i understand myself?... but how?... sometimes, i think people around me know me better than i do... i just dont know myself... i'm lack of confident... paranoid all the time, scared for something that i shouldn't... i'm miss the old me!... if i can go back to my old times...  Ya Allah, what should i do?... what should i do so that i can gain my confident, i can kills my paranoid's thing, do not scared anymore... Everytime, i wanna do something, i must thinking hard, how should i resist this thing?... Until people around sometimes get upset with me!.. huhu.. -end-