EGOkah aku?

Susahnya bila tersepit ditengah2 kemelut..
Like seriously I do not know how to decide..
They did not really satisfied me with their performance and act.
I did decided to resign..
But they persuaded me to stay..
I stuck between this two things, feeling and surrounding.
Feeling yang buat aku rase tak tahan dengan kerenah manusia-manusia egois yang tak membantu menyelesaikan masalah bahkan merekalah pemyumbang kepada hampir setiap masalah yang timbul...
Aku juga bingung... kerana keluarga disini, segalanya sudah hampir menyenangkan aku except that one thing. this "people".. I do not care if they keep dwell in their ego and stupidity... Just don't care and that's the reason I resigned anyway.
Anyhow, I started to feel comfortable  with the working tasks, friend, colleagues, but not the boss and management and environment,
When I asked for a partner at the first place, they gave me a boss, a new boss.. literally I has three boss that obviously I need to listen to.. Can you see the complicates of this management?. Three versus one, three orders, one executor... how?
Then I felt extremely tired, no time at all to rest except sleep, no time to socialize, no time to go back hometown, no time for brothers and sisters, no time to meet friends, no time to date?,, pfffttt..
But now, when I really think I has made my decision, my heart is not at ease. Its like want to stay here longer, because I been granted a new partner that took half of my task, which is good.. because I has time to socialize, go back hometown, make a friend at least... and  go to find a date... kuang3,..
I want to stay here, i love my jobs, but the management is totally suck for me.
When  I heard that there will be 4 candidates for my replacement, I not happy at all... I just like want to say to HR manager that I want to stay.. but what he only asked me, was what are the criteria should the candidates have? Huhu...
I know that I want to stay here but because of I not happy with the management system, I keep saying that I want to resign.. When people asked, when is your last date?,  are you really resigning this time?...
I stressed!.. I want to say that I want to stay, but the management system keeps bothering me and make me to say that I confirmed I resigned. Damn!
I haven't have the gut to make confirmation with my previous company since that I feel I will stay here. I do not want them to wait for me and end up with disappointment.
I do not know, let Allah helps me...  Please guide me..
Should I go and meet HR, say that I want to cancel my resignation. Is not too late already?..
or should I just go with flow, let the time decide...

Nearby but no that happy, distance but at ease... seriously I do not know.... :(


End
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BAD SIGN

Today, with not that busy work lifestyle..
I was been prompted which a shocked news...
Guess what??

There was an accident to one of the operator of process plant.
It was a big thing, because that man , i might say has a quite serious injury, a part of his head was injured, with all bleeding non stop, that serious, really-really serious.. at least for me.

But, what I cannot accept with the management was that, a sense of human was not there anymore.
How could this thing happens in this lovely world?
What make me really upset was,:-
Mr M: Should the plant stop? Should the plant stop just because of this one guy?.. We can't stop, please

Mr S: I don't know.. I will check with the authority..

while, me indirectly was there to hear everything, came to think that..
 Hei, Mr S, is that all you can do?.. The man might be fighting to live, while you say nothing except checking with authority... is that you call humanity?

Here there, the man would not be injured if there is nothing wrong with the workplace or the procedure or something... investigate first before second victim or more appeared. Oh please, do advise something to ensure the our people, our worker are safe to work at our company. Not blindly work without taking into consideration regarding safety, oh please once again, you are mr safety, you are hired to ensure zero accident, but what did you do?

Production need to be ran without stop, let the people die not the product, the product need to be produced as much as possible. People are not important, profit are more valuable.. People, one go ten come, but if production stop, no profit will be obtained.

Is that what you believe mr M?, is it money is all you care.. One thing to remember, without people, you would not gain money.. okay uncle?.. you are too old to be a bad guy.. Where is you humanity? Where is it disappeared?..

Oh man... human are really sucks this day... i'm afraid for the next generation..
Hope for the best for the man, Insyaallah you will be fine..


Maybe, i should make my move...

End...
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WIFI Bergerak??

Hmmph...
Kindly read below situation carefully and try to understand?...

Mr. B : Hi me, come I want to talk to you ( asked me to discuss at meeting room)
Me: Wait r Mr. B, i get my notebook first ( weird, why meeting room)
Mr. B: have a seat,
me : yes, mr B?
mr b : i heard you want to resignation?
me : what?... no... where did you heard that?
mr b: err... hr itu sama mr w.. kamu resignation
me : ouh... wait, actually i did, suratnya sya sudah sediakan, cuma tgl kasi mr b, semlm mau d kasi tp mr b sibuk skli, jd plan ari ni mau kasi setlh keja urgent settle
mr b: reason nya apa?
 Me : hmmm... sye mau kembali ke company lama, sye lebih sng keja disana..
mr b: kenapa?
me : di sini sye stress, sye baru ngga ada yg bantu, sye sorg, kerja nya byk skli, sye bikin mslh byk klu terus begini.
 The rest is history...


Yg aku x puas hati tuh, knpe ade org yg gatal sgt mulut nk ckp bg pihak aku, when i dont really really need that,

Mr w : why mr b asked you to meet him?
me: takde la, there's something related to my resignation, he knows beforehand, i wonder who tell him, he did mention your name n hr...
mr w: wallahi sye x ckp, sye blik dlu r, mr p dh tgu tuh...


A few days later...

Mr h: hi me, mr w told me you want to resign... is it true?
me: ( what?) Ouh, no la, i had discuss with mr b, he asked me bla bla bla..
mr h: you pk la baik2,  you lg bnrpe hari nk confirm, so, klu resign better skrg, 1 bln notice lpas nih ... bla bla bla,,
me: i'll wait for new  person, within 1 month half, mr b promise me that new person will come to be my partner
mr h,: your partner, no la... what is confirm, there will be bla bla bla... nothing as per mention
me: seriously?, but he told me that... but then its okay la, wait n see..



What i try to highlight is, ko dh waallahi dgn aku, tbe2 ade org accidently bgthu ko yg hebohkn ke dia, x cukup nga mr h, satu dept mr p ko hebohkn?... hei org tua, i still hate u....

Jgn menyibuk boleh tak, dh keje ko nk xnk je buat, yg ko xnk buat, ko pass kt org ni, pass org tuh... mcm tuh ke org berjwtn besar... malu r.. nasihat bkn main pjg ko bg, tp sume hampeh...

Fed up!
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GRAB

I want to quit already but out of sudden, the stress were gone, miracelly i very determine to grab all the experience and knowledges and all that... I know Allah helps me... Alhamdulillah...

i will stay for a while.. while there are something to grab then...
of course i hate 'you', rimas r ko same pompuan la nye perangai... keje la btul2 jgn tau nasihat org je tp kiter duk gayut and doing not much as per your are agreed to be paid.
jgn ckp soal berkat, klu sendiri pn mcm x sedar gaji x berkat... apedaa...

You will be one of the reason that i'll leave the company... klu rse semua org kne buatkn utk ko, baik buke syarikat sendiri jgn keje dgn org dan menyusahkn org sambil makan gaji buta... then bwk blik umah bg mkn ank isteri... phtu berbunyi duit abis byk la, kne byr nih mahal la... sendiri mau ingat la...

I will stay just for a while... a very short time... hope for the best then...

QUIT

Is it quitting is the best way...? I dont know...
Thats what really mind told me while my heart says you can stand over it... its just matter of times... is it true?

bertahan?

Aku rse nk nangis akan nasib yang menimpa aku....
Aku xthu mcm mne nk spill all the thing out...
aku rse terlampau berat... aku rse x mampu...
aku thu ini ujian utk aku... aku thu Allah lebih mengetahui segalanya...
Aku tahu aku kena sabar... tp aku tak mampu.... mcm mne ni YA Allah...
Utk beribadat pun aku terasa malas.. hati aku dh gelap segelap2 nya ke Ya Allah..l
Sukarnya aku nk dptkn kerjasama org dr segala segi... knpe?
Aku cume nak sume nye berjalan lancar... aku boleh tido dengan lena... aku boleh beribadat kepadamu Ya Allah tanpa rse sekatan, tanpa rse malas...
Niat ku cume ingin mati dalam keadaan beriman Ya Allah... Janganla Engkau bg aku ujian yang boleh memesongkan aku dari jalanmu Ya Allah... bantula aku...
aku pulang bekerja disini.. hanya untuk dekat dgn keluarga... agar aku lebih dekat denganMu Ya Allah... tp keadaan sekarang... Ya Allah tolong la hambaMu ini... jangan biarkan aku terpesong dari jalanMu... Aku hanya inginkan syurgaMu Ya Allah... bantula aku... tunjukkan jalan kembali kepadaMu Ya Allah...

DUGAAN

Hmm.. kdg2 aku rse aku dh x mampu...
aku terasa terlampau sukar..
aku takut aku makin jauh dr mu Ya Allah...
aku gagal ujian dunia..
aku juga mungkin gagal ujian akhirat..
hati seolah-olah sudah mati...
rse mcm nk keluarkn hati dan bersihkn sebersih-bersihnya...
begitu jgk dgn minda..
terasa dijajah dan dikawal.. oleh apa?... aku xthu..
beribadat tanpa kesungguhan dan sambil lewa..
mlas berdoa hanya runsing dan merungut..
ntah la....
YA ALLAH bantu la aku menjalani kehidupan ini, pertemukan aku dengan mu ketika aku beriman...
bantulah aku untuk kembali kepadamu Ya Allah..
jika tempat skrg menjauhkan aku dr mu, maka keluarkan aku drp sini ya Allah...