something is wrong!

something is wrong! but i don't know what is wrong with me?... feels so uncomfortable, a lot of things in my mind that distract my calmness... why? why? and why?... i just don't know why? sometimes to having friend can cause you in trouble... having family also sometimes costs you headache as a pay... having a job also could cause a big problem especially to someone like me who lack of confident.. always!.. how i wish i could be fully confident anytime, everywhere and also so energetic all the time. Every time, when someones come to pay a visit me, why can't i treated them so well, there's always an awkwardness that make me regrets most of the time. Why it is so hard to treat people as well as others do.? why? why?..  i'm sure something is wrong with me!
and always when i can't helps my self anymore i find you!... thank to God, you're here at least i can write out my feelings toward these messy things. i just hate being in this state. till now, i still feels not that good, but at least its starts to decrease...  Maybe i should do what i should do. Yeah, a man got to do what a man got to do!.
-end-

Searching for a new life??

Salam, knpe  tjuk die seaching for a new life?? why baby why?... kiyu?... bolo na...? no specific reason or there is a reason??...
I'm searching and will still searching until i get what i want?.... Even sometimes, giving up is there as a option and what is always comes into my mind.... Until when that i need to be searching?... And what am i searching for actually?... i dont know either... should i understand myself?... but how?... sometimes, i think people around me know me better than i do... i just dont know myself... i'm lack of confident... paranoid all the time, scared for something that i shouldn't... i'm miss the old me!... if i can go back to my old times...  Ya Allah, what should i do?... what should i do so that i can gain my confident, i can kills my paranoid's thing, do not scared anymore... Everytime, i wanna do something, i must thinking hard, how should i resist this thing?... Until people around sometimes get upset with me!.. huhu.. -end-

blogging

nk tulis  tp x thu nk tulis ape?... Guano nih?...
What should i do....  Tulah org ckp org ade blog kiter pun nk ade blog.. tp xthu ape nk buat ngan blog tuh... aiyaa ama apa.... komeya... hermm.... baik pulih blog nih pun best jgk ye...  tp tu lah.. hishh.... x thu lah mengarut je kerjanye... byk bende dlm kepala aku sbnarnye, cuma aku x thu mcm mne nk ku ubahkan dlm bentuk penulisan...
oh God! Please help me...

ai, erm.. post kali nk citer psl ape yg berlaku arini la... boleh kan?
hari ini x byk berubah mcm hari smlm... more or less same jer...
herm... masih lagi mengganggur disebabkn oleh
malas, x der semangat, x der org yg encourage aku tuk cari keje part time ngan sungguh2..
so sng citer x kuar rumah lg tuk cari duit sndiri!..
Bile nk rjin x thu lah...
at least rjin lah jgk duk rumah bleh tlg kemas2, masak, basuh baju, etc... kan? (alasan je ke? ntah)...
erm.. phtu ade sorg hamba Allah nie melenting x tntu psl... sbbnye simple jer...
beliau mmg sorg pemarah, pembengis segala jenis pem tuh bg kat beliau la...
oleh kerana sikap beliau,  keadaan mnjdi serba dlm tekanan (ape ayt aku ni)..
sume org tbe2 rse sakit hati... gara2 asuhan bertukar cikgu.
Hanya disebabkan oleh cikgu itu tidak belajar drp beliau, cikgu di label sebagai x thu ape2...
setiap kesalahan yg di lakukan oleh anak asuhan di letakkan di atas bahu si cikgu td...
Pdhal pada masa yg same, beliau jgk mengajar si anak asuhan itu...
 Ape daa... tkkan tercabar kot... hanya kerana si anak asuhan mencari cikgu yg lain?...
Pikir lah kenapa jd mcm tuh?.. bukan letakkan kesalahan pada org lain... Cube terima kelemahan diri... herm... amik iktibar je lah...
lepas tu smbg ngan kwn2.. topik bese ... dah keje blum...? maklumlah dh 2 bulan mengganggur nih... ade yg cdg jd RA... siap atar email psl keje kosong lg.. baik btul bdak tuh.. respect giler lah aku kat die... yg lain smbg2 kosong.. hampir tiap mgu soklan yg smae jer di tye.. dah keje ke?... ape nk jwb?... jwpn masih same... blum lah dik oii... dah pegang ijazah pun belum tentu dpt keje... hati semakin memberontak, jiwa kacau, telinga dah pedih dgn sindiran, tgn pun dh naik lenguh duk search kerja kosong... aishh.. x thu la..
pjg pulak ye aku merapu meraban nih... otak nih dah penat sbnarnye.. ok lah chau dulu lah... slmt mlm.. adios..

Hai,
erm.. x thu nk coret ape kat sini... satu permulaan yg bru tuk aku... walaupun dah lame tuk org lain atau pun dah lapuk pun utk sstgh org... xkesah la..
herm.. tujuan blog nih diwujudkan adalah kerana aku inginkan sesuatu yg aku boleh lakukan disaat2 aku tidak lagi waras  emotional so that aku x jadi emotional lg... hehe.. ntah lah aku merepek aper..