Hi...
i decided already...
but thats not the thing i try to figure out...
I got friend... yeah friend.... friend!
friend that try to grant me a wish...
which i never get and imagined before...
i appreciated... very appreciated!
yesterday, i very depressed with the decision that i made... i even thought that i might made a wrong decision...
which...
i left when some people still need me... of course to finish and continue the job and not burden them with worksss... i feel guilty because i cannot help my department to keep standing like i did before... new people to early to jugde...hope better than me....
i lost my cool but sometimes annoying collegues, some of them refuses to talk to me like before, some show that they disspointed... some asked me not to leave because they still need me... some show they scared because there no one want to help to do a group report like i did before... luckily that there are a few person wish me all the best, i feel guilty i scared could not make it by the time i leave... my boss so stupid, why you need to stop us from doing OT, we just want to finish it before i go... i trying to help here, its for your department, for your image... dont scold my collegue for that...
i even crying, because i m scared i could not finish teach new girl to work, existing girl to master what i did before.., again.. i feel very guilty.. i only got 5 days to do it...
But if i stay, im afraid i always need to help you, what will happen to me... its not what i want... how i gonna improve myself... its not my background... while, you comfortably come to work without worrying how to do a job because there is me that will help... how long i need to help you.. boss sure not care about that... how i been tortured here... i been hired for different position but i doing a job that farr far a way from it...
please stand on your own... sure you can do it lah!... ganbatte kudasai... i m tired... i got family that waiting for me to come back to them... my family is priority compared to you... the chance is there... berbakti kepada keluarga adalah benda yang patut aku utamakan... aku mohon maaf..
Then, berbalik kepada citer yg aku ade kawan yang mmg kawan... a few days before she asked me in Johor where is the place that i wish to go but never make it yet.... so, i just randomly saying a place that i ever wish to go...
last night we have a chit chat... about her superior resignation and i talk about my resignation, i expressed my sadness... her also expressed sadness because she is very close to her superior that defend her at most of time when being scolded by annoying and stupid big boss... i just listen, trying to comfort her but not much because i m also sad...
then suddenly... she asked me to go to a place that she asked before, i like what??.... come on kak... i just say it randomly... i m not asking her to go there when i told her...
she said she planned already with my another mate... i like... oh my goodness, in her sadness she try to please me... what kind of kindness is that?... i pray for you kak... all the best and God grant you happiness dunia akhirat... insyaallah.. its maybe hard for us to see each other after i go.. but i m sure that you got that happiness one fine day...
...the end...
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